Pointy-Eared Dongs Gone Wild

March 29, 2024

Duke, a 3 year old Husky, and his counterpart Dixie, a 2 year old German Shepherd, have been accused of several felonies including: escaping the yard, excessive humping, public indecency, public lewdness, Ro-Ro-Ro-Ro, getting in the trash, disorderly conduct, and excessive shedding. The two dogs were arrested Tuesday night at 2AM, chasing cats and causing a disturbance in the Buffalo Heights neighborhood. After multiple holes in the fence, the neighborhood has issued multiple complaints regarding these two menacing dongs. However, there has been no stop to their shenanigans. Dixie issued a statement on Thursday regarding the arrest: "*excessive darth Vader sniffing" Duke has not made any statements regarding the matter, but has been instead sitting in the same two spots of his cell. The trial is scheduled for 4 PM next Wednesday at Kelly's Kennels.

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