Papal Proclamation from the High Altar of the First Baptist Freemasonic Motor Tabernacle

May 3, 2025

Papal Proclamation from the High Altar of the First Baptist Freemasonic Motor Tabernacle By His Holiness, John Deer Greene ?, Supreme Salesman of the Southern Auto Synod, Keeper of the Key Fobs, and Most Benevolent Pope of Premium Pricing Dearly Beloved Prospects, Let it be known throughout the land—from Ringgold to Red Bank, from the River of Warranty to the Hills of APR—that your salvation draweth nigh… and it comes with employee pricing and a nationwide lifetime powertrain warranty! I, Pope John Deer Greene ?, do hereby summon thee unto my holy dealership, where the test drives are smooth and the coffee flows like anointing oil. Not only will you be blessed with unbeatable deals, but upon purchase of thy blessed chariot, I shall lay hands upon the hood, whisper a sacred VIN into the heavens, and bestow an official First Baptist Freemasonic blessing, complete with one honk and a wave of the dealership floorplan. Yea, though thou walk through the valley of low credit, thou shalt fear no denial—for I am with thee, and my finance team has thy back. Come, dear pilgrims. Trade in thy burdened Camrys and receive rest for thy down payments. In torque we trust. In horsepower we believe. And in the Name of the Keys, the Title, and the Holy Carfax—Amen. Blessed Be the Buyers, John Deer Greene ? Masonic Auto Pope of the First Baptist Keys

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