BREAKING: Sister Goodwin has once again slain in the Spirit—this time while shouting “FLOOR IT, JESUS!” during the altar call at the First Baptist Church of Signs, Wonders, and Mystical Revelations.

June 11, 2025

BREAKING: Sister Goodwin has once again slain in the Spirit—this time while shouting “FLOOR IT, JESUS!” during the altar call at the First Baptist Church of Signs, Wonders, and Mystical Revelations. She caught the Holy Ghost and a glimpse of Brother Harold’s tithe envelope all in one swoop. Pastor said it was the first time anyone’s spoken in tongues and fluent transmission repair. Service ran long after Deacon Jones tried to interpret the visions in the church bulletin, but all we got was a coupon for Golden Corral. Next Sunday’s theme: “Don’t Just Park in the Pew—Put It in Drive!”

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