“Libtards, Repent! James Mike Nichols Brings Revival to Daytime TV”

June 13, 2025

BREAKING: James Mike Nichols somehow wandered onto The View this morning—nobody’s quite sure how he got past security, but by the time the producers figured it out, he was already three verses deep into the Gospel of John and had just called Joy Behar a “libtard with potential.” Whoopi leaned in and said, “Sir, are you lost?” to which James replied, “No ma’am, I’m found. Can I get an amen?” He brought his own King James Bible, a Chick-fil-A sandwich, and an oil vial “just in case the spirit moved.” Before they cut to commercial, he asked if any of them had considered switching over to Victory Channel. Needless to say, he was escorted out gently by security—but not before offering to baptize the stage manager in the dressing room sink.

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