“Farewell, Miranda: Slawdog Hangs Up His VIP Card ??

July 9, 2025

Y’all… this Saturday I am finally hangin’ up my Miranda’s VIP card ?? I’m gettin’ MARRIED, which means I no longer have to swing by Miranda’s Adult Store every time the Bluetooth speaker breaks or I need relationship advice from a neon sign. No more awkward eye contact with the cashier named “Sunshine,” no more pretending to “browse candles” when I really just came for the gummies and judgment. Pray for my wife… she has no idea I’ve been keeping Miranda’s in business since 2017.

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