? LAWT’N’S EGGPLANT EMPIRE ? “Grown with Miracle-Gro. Sold with zero shame.”

July 9, 2025

Y’all ever wonder who’s been single-handedly restocking the eggplants at Miranda’s Adult Store? That’s right—Lawton. Farmer by day. Vendor by night. Fueled by Miracle-Gro, questionable decisions, and a whole lotta sunshine. His eggplants so big, Miranda had to build a separate shelf. So firm, folks ask if they’re battery-operated. So purple, Prince came back just to write a song about ‘em. ? Catch Lawton out back every morning whisperin’ sweet nothings to his plants like, “Make Daddy proud—we headin’ to Miranda’s.” Miracle-Gro: For when your garden dreams involve a side hustle at a gift shop.

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