“Gas Leak on Morrison Street Turns Out to Be One Woman: Kaitlyn Boulton”

November 11, 2025

Swindon, UK — Residents of Morrison Street were advised to stay indoors last night after reports of a mysterious gas cloud spreading through the area. Authorities later confirmed that the source of the “chemical event” was not a factory malfunction — but rather a single, very surprised woman named Kaitlyn Boulton. Witnesses described the moment as “apocalyptic,” claiming that streetlights flickered, birds evacuated the area, and one unfortunate passerby dropped their Greggs pasty in sheer horror. “I thought it was the sewer bursting,” said local resident Dave Thompson. “Turns out it was just Kaitlyn after a bit too much curry.” Emergency services were initially deployed with hazmat suits, but quickly stood down once they realized the smell was “biological in nature.” The Environment Agency issued a “Code Brown” alert — the first of its kind in Swindon’s history. Kaitlyn, 24, reportedly took full responsibility. “I didn’t think one fajita night could do this much damage,” she admitted. “I’m sorry to everyone within a three-mile radius. I’ve learned my lesson — no more refried beans.” Experts now fear the gas cloud may continue to drift, potentially reaching central Swindon by Friday if winds remain strong. Locals are urged to seal their windows, wear nose plugs, and keep calm. As for Kaitlyn, she’s become something of a local legend. A petition to rename Morrison Street to “Boulton Boulevard” has already gathered over 500 signatures

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